Fury!

[ravan]

So, one of the people I happen to like and respect has decided that childfree is full of sick people. To the view of them and their buddies, all CF people are the same, and most of them are psychologically deviant in some way.

I've seen more stereotyping of the childfree (and childfree) in the last two hours than I usually encounter in two years. "Born at 21, never a child", "frozen at 14", "bigotry and self-involvement", "like the pro-ana communities: a support group for sick people who wish to stay sick", "people who hate children hate themselves", ad nauseum. By people who are supposedly tolerant of different lifestyles! Well, I can see that tolerance only happens when it's their little deviation from the "american dream" life script, not mine.

I don't dislike parents, or their kids. However, I can't stand brats, screamers, and kids who trash or foul their surroundings. I didn't even like most kids when I was one! But I guess that makes me some sort of twisted fuck who is "sick and wants to stay sick". Oh, gee, thanks for the enlightening idea. I guess I'll go get knocked up so I can be considered "normal" and "healthy".

I guess criticising poor parenting by the stupid is now "making fun of the disabled", and not offering some twit who spouts nothing but screwed up rationalizations "help" means I lack "empathy, mercy, and basic human decency". It's a bad thing to point out when other people are damaging their kids, and criticize it publically. I guess it might hurt their widdle self esteem. But it's ok to slam and denigrate people who've chosen not to have children, huh? They're just sick people who wish to remain sick, so it's OK to insult and offend them!

Thanks a lot - I guess when the rubber meets the road, tolerance for others and their choices is really a pipe dream, huh?

Fuck that.

Edit: and now the bingo starts "you're not a parent, you don't know".

Double fuck that.

Edit: And now the person has unfriended me, and I can't read the entry in question, or respond to the slams and smears. Nevermind that I was trying my best to be polite - after all, it was someone elses journal. That's why I pulled my rant into my journal, trying to get the heat out of theirs.

I guess I'm not part of the right oppressed minority, so I don't have to be tolerated. The lesson: it's OK to criticize someone, make fun of someone, call them "sick" and "bigoted" and every other form of insult, deride their lifestyle as selfish and self-centered and wrong, as long as their "difference" is chosing not to have children. Gay, fine; bi, fine; tranny, fine; disabled, fine; autistic, fine; pagan, fine; asexual, fine; christian, fine; atheist, fine; but never, never, never, NEVER admit to being childFREE, as opposed to childLESS, and daring to have an opinion on another random person's sacred and inviolate excuse for parenting - since if you aren't a parent, you can't possibly know *anything* about kids.

Well, fuck you - you know who you are.

Comments

Why the Childfree journal gets people's dander up ~ an obsevation

[jemyl.livejournal.com]

Well, my Ravan beauty, I happen to agree with you wholeheartedly on this one. Childfree, as you use it, is a viable option and certainly not worthy of such heated criticism as you describe.

Having read some of the entries in the Childfree journal community over the past year or so, I can, however, completely understand the anger of some people toward that group. I do not include you in that group. For instance, I don't see you calling ALL MOTHERS names like Brood mares, cows, and some I have forgotten but which were even more nasty. Neither do I see you naming ALL children as puke monsters or bratpack mambers. You have the decency and common sense to differentiate between well-behaving children and brats who misbehave as well as the parents who birth them.

Msny who blog in Childfree seem to expect that all children will be kept from their sight. They do not seem to make the distinction between well-behaved younsters and brats. They also seem to expect all children to behave as little adults, which we know they will not, at all times in all places, if they are seen at all.

I find those expectations to be totally unreasonable and those who espouse them on Childfree to be fanatical. I would go so far as to class them as Childphobes, kind of like homophobes but for children. They do not begin to understand childen and do not think it is necessary for them to try aince they never plan on being a parent. I find that view unrealistic.

Children should be seen in certain places. They should also be reasonably well behaved in those places or removed from them by their parents. A child who is never taken to a restaurant, grocery store or department store or mall, will not likely learn how to behave in such places. Even the best behaved children will sometimes pull a real bonehead move, innocently, in those circumstances. I seem to remember a cute little 18 month old girl who sat contentedly in her high chair in a fancy restaurant one Sunday, out with her parents and grandparents to celebrate an anniversary. She was an angel, gurgling happily and not even sweeping food from her tray or banging her spoon. All was quiet and nice except for the normal babble of voices in the place. It was rather crowded and busy. Then a busboy in a hurry got hit with the swinging kitchen door and dropped a whole tray of silverware with a loud crash. All talk in the whole place ceased immediately. You could hear a pin drop. At that moment that sweet, beautiful, well-behaved little girl said quite loudly, "Uh-OH!" It generated an even redder face on the busboy scurrying to clean up the spilled silverware. It generated lots of laughter from the restaurant patrons with one exception. Your mother was embsrrassed and told you to "shhhhh". See, even at an early age, you were good with the pointed social comment!

No, I don't think you should have to say Childless! Not having children should be a choice for anyone. I also don't think that not having children disqualifies anyone from commenting on childrearing. Certain things are just common sense. Also, you were once a child so know what should and shouldn't be acceptable behavior. OH, you may miss knowing what is developmentally possible for a certain age once in a while, but that, too, can be looked up online.

FWIW, I, too, have found myself unfriended from some people's journals when I attempted to be a moderate voice of reason in my comments. Some people want to cling to their neuroses and radical ideas and will brook no common sense challenges. I think that they unfriend because not to do so would mean that they might have to re-examine their sacred cows and they fear they might find that what they have been calling a cow might really be an ox or an elephant which would be even more scary for them than is the cow.

Love you! Gma wants to know if you are still coming for her birthday in July. Bill's NG tube was out yesterday and they are still planning to do the endoscopy and colonoscopy tomorrow. I am going over to see him in a little while.

[ravan.livejournal.com]

Gma wants to know if you are still coming for her birthday in July.

Yes. I'm trying to figure the best dates and stuff.

[jemyl.livejournal.com]

Don't know if you have them out there, but Spirit Airlines had really good fares to Chitown when I went. When you come, consider flying into Orlando as sometimes you can get really cheap non-stops into there. Mickeyworld and Universed are big draws. Both Orlando and Jax as well as Daytona are about an hour an a half or so drive, about 100 miles or so and with the van now I can take Bill with me so can pick up at other than Gainesville. I just can't park for long periods unless I want to push a wheelchair all over the place LOL. It is possible, but not so much fun.

[ravan.livejournal.com]

I'd figured to rent a car, so you wouldn't have to do pickup and drop off stuff. I've been looking at fares into GNV and JAX.

Pushing a wheelchair sux, especially when you try to do it with 1 hand for someone else. But congrats on getting the van.

BTW, where do the brat and co crash when they come down there? I know you can't fit them all in either house! Are they coming down too, and if they are, are they driving or flying?

[jemyl.livejournal.com]

Boo and company have never stayed other than before your niece and nephews. Then they stayed atGmas, which is where you can stay this time. She has both a sleeper sofa and another single ottoman bed. I also have a queen cot and queen aerobed. Boo and company have not discussed coming down for that. Depends on vacations and who knows with them. They usually stay at a motel as they have always planned the trips in conjunction with a coference for him. Other time we met them in Ashville and we stayed at a motel that time.

Renting a car or not is up to you. I am willing to pick you up. Do consider Orlando too and also Daytona Beach airports. I'd go with the cheapest that is also nonstop as the layover in Atlanta or wherever is a bummer. Nonstop also means less chance of lost luggage. On my Chicago trip the difference between Orlando nonstop and Gainesville with one or more stops was over $100! Some lines insist on a Saturday stay over and some don't.

[ravan.livejournal.com]

A rental car means I can do shopping runs for you and Gma. Remember, I can't drive a stick...

See the post(s) labelled "Logistics" for more info and mulling.

BTW, the brat better come down for it.

[jemyl.livejournal.com]

The van, Big Blue Monster, is the same size E250 XLT, with a 127 wheelbase, just like old Blueberry. It is even san airconditioning ans has the little vent windows. LOL. It also has power steering and brakes. It currently passes everything but a gas station so, while I have no problem with your driving it, I am not sure it would be cheaper than a rental! LOL I do understand your need for freedom to go if you wish. I would do the same visiting you, as you know. We both love our freedom and to drive.