![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
MoveOn has spawned "Moms Rising", and it is truly gag worthy, and embodies the entitlement culture that the baby-boom generation is bringing into politics both on the left and the right. Great, just what we needed, another "pro-family" campaign. Let's dance to the right wing tune and make it our own.
Why do only "moms" count? Why are they the only females that should have a voice as they follow the standard life script of reproducing? What about those of us who chose not to be parents, what about those of us who are done raising kids, and don't want to give up the lives that have been (re)gained just so mommies can have more entitlements?
Having kids is a choice, and a significant responsibility, both emotionally and financially. Those who make this choice have no call to demand that those of us who haven't should surrender the fruits of our judgement to "help" them get a bigger piece of the pie. When will these mommies realize that no, you can't have it all - it's a myth - being a parent means less discretionary income, less free time, and slower advancement at work because of needing to divide focus.
When these Motherhood Manifesto idiots realize that feminism is about equality between the genders, including the equal responsibility in raising kids, not about special rights "for mothers only".
See momsrising.org - see what they "demand":
1) Maternity/Paternity leave (have kid, get extra paid time off, screw everyone else)
2) Open flexible work (let the parents skive out early for those ball games, while the rest of us stay and work)
3) TV and after school programs (because "somebody" must entertain the kids when parents don't want to)
4) Healthcare for All Kids (but when they turn 18, tough luck. adults don't count except if they're active parents)
5) Excellent childcare (because unstructured, latchkey kids turn out too damned independent)
6) Realistic and fair wages (parents need more money, because kids are expensive, so pay them better in spite of increased absences)
Ugh. Let's take this one at a time:
M: Maternity/Paternity Leave: Paid family leave for parents after a new child comes into the family.
What about people who have their own illnesses, or a spouse, or domestic partner, or and aging parent, or a disabled sibling?? Do only kids count in their world? This is wrong, and favors parents over others who have similar needs.
O: Open, Flexible Work: Work that allows for both work and family needs. Give parents the ability to structure their work hours and careers in a way that allows them to meet both business and family needs.
Uh, huh. The rest of us can't possibly have non-work needs that count. Only parents need the ability to balance work and family, the rest of us are just here to take up the slack, our lives on hold until we have the sacred children. Never mind we might need to take parents, spouses, partners to the doctor or even pets to the vet. It all must be sacrificed for the children.
T: TV We Choose & Other After-School Programs: Clear and independent universal television rating system that allows for choice in the home. Safe, educational opportunities for children after the school doors close.
Because parents these days can't be bothered to monitor or teach their own get, we have to rate it for them. The children must have "programs" for every single waking moment, lest they be forced to use their creativity and come up with their own entertainment. We must make everything safe and sanitized for the most innocent of children, lest they become corrupted by reality.
H: Healthcare for All Kids: Healthcare for all kids. Provide quality, universal healthcare to all children--and ultimately to all citizens.
Take care of the kids first, and the rest of us as an afterthought. In reality, the most time I've spent uninsured has been as an adult, not as kid. If the kid isn't insured, the parent isn't either, and a medical catastrophe to the parent actually screws them both. Yet another backward priority.
E: Excellent Childcare: Childcare for all kids. Provide quality, affordable childcare to all parents who need it.
Out of whose pocket?? Why, those who don't have kids of course, or have already raised their kids without huge handouts from the government. What happened to the vaunted "extended family"? Are they only good for their tax paying ability? Also, what about government funded elder care, and disability care? Don't adults count, or is it just another boon to those who have *chosen* to reproduce? Why do only parents deserve help?
R: Realistic & Fair Wages: Living wages for mothers and equal pay for equal work.
Another backwards priority. "Living wages" for mothers (only?), but equal pay for equal work? Hey, how about living wages for everyone, and equal pay for equal work? Now, most mothers with their dual responsibilities will still get paid less, because they do paying work less, but that's only fair. Raising children involves sacrifice *by the parents* who chose to have them, not by every Tom, Dick and Harriet that has the misfortune to work with them.
If I work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, plus come in on weekends and on-call hours, and "mommy" works only 7.5 hours a day and "doesn't do" weekends, then I better get a fatter raise than she does, or I will be looking for another job. Seriously, equal pay for equal work is just that.
Yeah, I get ticked if some guy is doing the same thing I do, and has the same experience level, but gets more money, but that isn't because I'm a mommy, it's because I'm a woman, and there is a difference.
So there we have it, the entire backwards, kid-centered steaming pile of BS. These idiots want me to support this shit, because I know and have a "mother".
Sorry, you just leave too much out, too many out, and demand that everyone else dance to the mommy tune.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
Want to bet? When the dependent adult can't talk, or toilet themselves? Sorry, but dependent is dependent. Kids aren't a greater need.
compensate them to a degree for the time and care (one can hope!) they're spending on looking after their children?
Who pays for this? Why should I, and the rest of society, *pay* you for making a certain choice?? Why should I *pay you* to procreate? Pay to educate, yes. Its called paying my own schooling forward. But paying you to do something that is voluntary, that you chose?? Hell no!
If Jane and Jean are both 35, and both have put 5 years into their current career, should Jane get more money because her prior career was as a mommy?
An adult needing to see a doctor can at least communicate that need; a small child can't.
You apparently haven't had to deal with truly dependent adults. Kids can often communicate their needs better than highly disabled adults.
Society wants us to have children; why shouldn't society give us at least some encouragement and the possibility to do so? I don't think that's entitlement.
Why does "society" have the right to "want" us to have children? I don't say that people should, and I for sure am not willing to compensate and give my hard earned cash to those who have chosen to produce more consumers at the planet's expense.
That is the essence of entitlement: to claim that society asked you to make a choice that is expensive, and then expect society to give you money and benefits for a making that expensive, and completely voluntary, choice.
From:
no subject
At least you can reason with an adult, explain why they might have to wait 20 minutes (or however long it takes) until you've done whatever else needs doing. Impossible with a baby.
If Jane and Jean are both 35, and both have put 5 years into their current career, should Jane get more money because her prior career was as a mommy?
That's not what I meant. Of course not; neither should there be automatic promotions etc when someone chooses to go on parental leave.
You apparently haven't had to deal with truly dependent adults. Kids can often communicate their needs better than highly disabled adults.
My father-in-law needed at-home care 24/7 for three years after a stroke on top of Parkinson's. He was partially paralyzed, incontinent and during the last year of his life unable to talk. I wasn't much involved in his daily care -- my mother-in-law and a night nurse we paid for mainly out of our own pocket saw to that -- but living next door we often had to help out during daytime. For those three years, every activity was scheduled around dad-in-law's needs, as he was liable to injure himself if left alone for longer than 10 minutes. I've experienced the differences between a baby and a truly dependent adult; each has its own set of sometimes similar, sometimes different challenges. So please don't tell me what I do or don't know?
Why does "society" have the right to "want" us to have children? I don't say that people should, and I for sure am not willing to compensate and give my hard earned cash to those who have chosen to produce more consumers at the planet's expense.
That is the essence of entitlement: to claim that society asked you to make a choice that is expensive, and then expect society to give you money and benefits for a making that expensive, and completely voluntary, choice.
*sigh* This is something I should've considered before replying at 2am last night. You see, for us it's different -- benefits like pensions, health care and so on are NOT all tied to an individual or specific job; by law, we have pretty much universal coverage and insurance. Everybody puts part of their earnings (matched by the employer) into one big pot out of which comes health insurance and the like. As we've had negative population growth for several decades now and people get older, naturally that big common pot gets depleted much faster. Less people born = less money in old age for everybody. So, for me as a German, society does indeed encourage me to have more children, and is using parental leave etc. as an incentive. (It's not working terribly well, as child care facilities aren't up to scratch, there's often inadequate housing for larger families ... )
But yeah, coming from MY background, I say to society "you want me to breed, you better make it worth my while, especially if I've trained long and hard to get where I am". I can't have children if I can't afford to have them in the first place, because I don't have child care or even just enough room to raise them ... or if I'm out of a job once I've raised them to the point where I can leave them safely in the care of others.
I'm not asking for stuff I haven't earned through my own efforts, but I do ask that having children not just for my personal fulfillment but also to meet the need for future generations to keep living in relatively comfortable circumstances is at least made feasible. After all, even the childless benefit from the contributions every working person puts into that big pot called social security.
If that's entitlement, so be it.