Raspy & Ranty

I have a low grade "I wanna piss on someone" type irritation going on. I'm not sure why. It's probably PMS. So I'm going to have to try not to read any of my mailing lists until next week, because I really tend to go overboard. But I still want to have a good reason to rip someone a brand new size 8 asshole.

So I'm opening this up for "Request A Rant". Got someone or something you righteously want chewed on? Do you care if the ranting has a little profanity and a lot of hyperbole? Request A Rant is here for You!

Curebies

Rant request from griffen "Cure-bies who assume that autistics who don't want a cure also don't want help, as if 'cure' and 'help' were synonymous."

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Several form of mental "illness" are actually different ways of seeing the world. Things like autism and aspergers syndrome are among them. A curebie is someone who wants to "cure" the problem - make the person "normal" or "neurotypical - but not just help them to relate to the rest of the world as they are.

But what does a person lose by being made "normal" ("cured")? A lot, including their self. I sure as hell would not want to be "normal"!! It wouldn't be me, and what was left would be dull, unimaginative, and limited. My abnormalities in brain chemistry and psychology, un-labeled or un-diagnosed though they are, are part of what makes me me! Society loses as well, since the differences in perspective on problems and the world in general are part and parcel of the engine that drives innovation, the arts, and other discoveries.

But these asinine curebies assume that every wants to be "normal". To them, the "norm" is the holy grail of human experience, when it is really just the average, ordinary, and quite a bit dull. Yes, it makes it easier for people to relate to one another if everyone is "normal", since they never need to allow for different types of thought processes than their own. But then they are never challenged, never asked to question their own base assumtions about what it means to be human.

So, when someone says they don't want a cure, a curebie says "Well, if you don't want to be cured, we can't help you at all. You're stuck in your own hell, and are a fool besides."

Nevermind is that all an atypical wants is a means to bridge the gap between themselves and the rest of the world. They say to the curebie, essentially "I don't want to become you, I just want to be able to communicate with you and deal with you without driving either one of us straight up the proverbial wall!! Why can't you see that? Is that so strange, to just want to communicate with you without becoming just like you?"

The curebie response is "No, if you don't want to become normal, 'cured', we can't help. We won't try to understand and figure out how you can adapt, or even compensate, in your dealings with the rest of the world. It would take effort away from the 'cure' we know, for your own good, is what you really, really need! Aren't we nice for looking out for you, and making sure that we drive you toward what we believe is in your best interest?"

Then they wonder why the atypical wanders off muttering about do-gooder assholes and control freaks.

What to do about this? In part, change the language. In the brain injury arena, the idea is adaptation and compensation, not cure. After all, we don't say to the person who's lost an arm "Oh, well we can't help you adapt, or provide you with a prosthetic, because we're busy researching a cure that will regrow your arm!" So atypicals aren't necessarily looking for a 'cure', they are looking for adaptation and compensation strategies, to find ways of dealing with, communicating with, and comprehending the neurotypical that don't involve sacrificing their selves on the altar of normality.

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Comments?

Stalker Exen

Request from redsonja "Obsessed Stalker Exen!"

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What the fuck is it with some people, that they can't accept that a) 'No' means NO, and B) 'It's over' means 'Goodbye'?? If you get married to someone, it does not mean that you own them, and it sure as hell doesn't mean you're mine forever! Relationships aren't about possession, damnit. Hell, even saying hi on the street doesn't give someone rights over you!

No, some people are just obsessive whack jobs who need to be purged from the gene pool, preferably before they breed, lest the genetic tendency toward obsession, possessiveness, and sociopathy is not spread more throughout the gene pool. Why is it against the game laws to shoot these asshats and put them out of your misery? Why are protection orders toothless, in that you can only have a fruitcake arrested after they've violated it flagrantly and obviously? Why do corporations and governments enable these shitheads?

Why in the hell would someone spend the time, money, and energy on stalking a person who had called it quits with them?? Do they really fucking think that they are so fantastic that you would want them anyway after saying no? Are they just incapable of dealing with the plain fact that someone just fucking doesn't want them in their life anymore? Or do they even care about the other person at all, as anything other than a thing, something they own, and they can't let go of their 'possessions'?

What is it that flicks the switch on someone who seems otherwise rational? Why does someone get the demented idea in their head that 'they can't live without you', or 'you can't live without them'? Is it something in their upbringing, some sort of insecurity, a brain chemistry malfunction, or something in the water? I don't understand the obsessive mindset to start with, and this type of deluded nutcase is one of the worst.

Yet I hear about this kind of creep all of the time. With the information age, and the erosion of privacy as a legal concept and an institution, it becomes easier and easier for these nutjobs to try to sate their obsessive desires. Thirty years ago, stalking was rarely heard of, and usually a move out of state, a quick name change, and a careful breaking of ties to mutual friends could fix it. Successful stalkers had to be wealthy, because tracking down a person cost lost of money and time.

Now, though, we damn near hand these twisted souls the tools they need to haunt our lives on a silver fucking platter! A person now has to actively seek out their information and specifically seek to have it deleted or, more often, just concealed. If they have anything to do with our 'security' (state security, that is) minded government, their sick hobby gets even easier. Just a few rule violations, the right amount of cash in the right palms, and voila, they even have your new underware size. And people wonder why I use a pseudonym on the net!

The fools who argue against privacy and restriction of access to personal information from governments and corporations often cough up the old, tired 'What have you got to hide? Unless you have something to hide, there's nothing to fear!' as an argument against privacy. Well, you may not have anything to hide when the data is collected, aggregated, and stored. But even the most pristine and upright living individual can have an obsessive nut case latch on to them, often years later, and use that older data to hunt them down and/or screw up their life! Things like malicious identity theft (as opposed to simple larcenous identity theft), filing false credit data, using your credit records to track your whereabouts and workplace, etc. are now made possible by 'innocent' (but pervasive) data collection and aggregation, and happening to lots of people.

Yet governments and corporations around the world are continually fast talking people in handing over their personal data to faceless entities to store in poorly secured databases, and then often make the data available to anyone for a nominal fee. Does this disturb you? It should. Find out more from EPIC, Privacy.org, and the EFF. Don't give up your privacy, even on little things, without a fight. Don't enable stalkers and other scum in their obsessions and criminal activities.

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Comments?

Pagans, Heathens, and "Charity"

"Where are your charities?" the older, more established religions ask. "Where are your soup kitchens, clothing drives, and food banks?"

The answer is simple, and yet complex. Most pagans and/or heathens are not rich. So when they give, they tend to give to secular charities that meet a real need in their local community, they form ad-hoc charities without all of the legal foofoo, or they tend to simply help out their own friends when they need it. One of my favorite organizayion to give to is Second Harvest, because it secular and provides stuff, not just abusable money, and I can dump food in whenever I'm flush at my local grocery store. These all tend to be unseen giving, because there is seldom any record or tax deduction taken. Who is gonna track when you pitch in to buy gas or groceries for a member of your group? Sheesh.

Then there's the fact that many pagans and heathens see "charity" as a Judeo-Christian concept, and shy away. They also often crawl into their own little world, and do not see others as being helpful to them, so why should they help others. Furthermore, when pagans do give, I've noticed that they tend to be very low key about it. Those that aren't are seen as some sort of tin-cup rattling egotists - "look at what I did".

For many of us, "charity" begins at home, and is respectful of the pride of those who are on the squeezed end of life. Many of us have been there, and know that it can be damn humiliating to actually need help. The last thing we want to do is go to some faceless bureaucracy or religion pusher for aid. So when we're flush, instead of an annual donation to "Pagan Charities, Inc." with all of the nice tax writeoffs, we slip a friend in need a fiver, give them the excess cans of stuff we got when we found a good sale, hire them to move the lawn or walk the dog, or even just invite them over for a dinner. We help each other move, we visit our own in the hospital, and we net pagans help those who are shut-in get connected to the internet so they can have social interaction without trying to go out when it is problematic.

In some ways, it isn't really even "charity", it's just part of being a friend, or part of a community. We don't keep score, for the gods sake. If someone wants to keep track, we say "Pay it forward".

Yes, maybe we could do "more", but some of that is the state of pagan and heathen community dynamics (specifically rivalries and contempt) than a lack of will to help others.

Checks and Balances?

Request from dubhain "Nitwits who actually believe the crap they were taught in school about how the 'Checks and Balances™' in the US Constitution will prevent tyranny and fascism from ever taking root in the US - so we can all just not bother with worrying about it. Evar."

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Dear citizens of the United State of America:

I regret to inform you that, regarding the Constitution and it's built in checks and balances, the checks have bounced and your balances are all overdrawn!! This is because of your apathy, neglect, and ill chosen priorities.

While you weren't looking, the fanatics (wannabe fascists and tyrants) came up with a scheme, and were perseverent enough to make, and keep, a thirty year plan to put it in place. When people pointed out the early dangers, you scoffed, saying that they were just a "fringe". Guess what, that "fringe" has been quietly stacking state and federal courts and statehouses for thirty years, and now has enough traction to push its own into the Supreme Court!

You were asleep at the switch, worried more about your television shows, Hollywood gossip, brand name clothes, stock options, and sports teams than you were about voting in elections, educating yourselves about the issues, what the candidates stood for, and why you couldn't always believe what the damn TV told you. You refused to even look and see the creeping fascism and religious fanaticism that was being put forth as ordinary people for political office. You mocked those of us who tried to talk about it, calling us paranoid, chicken little, knee jerk liberal, etc.

Now, look at where we're going. Look at the Patriot Act; the attempt to write discrimination into the Constitution; the vilification of the poor; the corporate, legislative and judicial contempt for women (51% of our population); and the taking of words like "compassion", "fairness", "faith", and even "concience" and turning them into twisted buzzwords for the repressive right wing.

Does the death of 3,000 people make it suddenly alright to throw away two hundred years of guardianship of liberty, that many more than that have given their lives for, for what some politician tells you is security and "for your own good"? What a bunch of wimps! How many innocents have we killed because a smirking chimp grabbing for power told us it would "make us more secure". Or didn't you realize that successful terrorism is that which successfully terrorises us, and thus makes us change our thinking and way of life!

"But, but, the three branches, the balances, the checks on power..." Gone, pal. Toasted in an orgy of federal consolidation, wiped out by political gerrymandering, gelded by political apathy, and fucked over firmly by long, slow, and deliberate court packing. You were asleep at the switch, and the patient people with a fanatical faith in their own twisted religion and political "manifest destiny" changed the rules to freeze you out.

You feared technology, so you let the people with the hidden agendas control it, rather than learning about it. You mocked the geeks who said "beware, there are potential problems here!" Now that technology will be used against you, to watch you, track you, and control you. You wanted to be "rich", or at least live like it, so you let the corporations, especially the banks and credit card companies, sell you down the river, with you still having to pay full fare plus interest.

The legislative branch, danced about on puppet strings by lobbyists, has ceded much of its responsibility and authority to the executive. The executive has used that power to consolidate, establishing "czars" over various critical functions, none of whom really answer to anyone but the executive, maybe congress, and never to the people. The executive has also carefully packed the federal courts, with the aid of stealth candidates, pork seeking legislators, corporate lobbyists serving dual duty for fanatics and a populace that didn't give a damn as long as there was a body in the seat.

So, you lose, and so do the rest of us. You didn't pay attention, citizens of America. Now the word citizen is changing its meaning, to mean "person who is loyal without question". The loyal opposition need not apply. "You're either with us, or with the 'terrorists'", with 'terrorists' defined however the government finds convenient that day.

So join the ACLU, and other organization against this crap. Then, at least, you can wave your ACLU membership card as they drag you away to the detention center, instead of wondering what hit you, and when things "changed".

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Comments?