ravan: by icons r us (flamethrower - from icons r us)
ravan ([personal profile] ravan) wrote2006-10-16 03:30 pm
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OK, Somewhat Childfree Rant


MoveOn has spawned "Moms Rising", and it is truly gag worthy, and embodies the entitlement culture that the baby-boom generation is bringing into politics both on the left and the right. Great, just what we needed, another "pro-family" campaign. Let's dance to the right wing tune and make it our own.

Why do only "moms" count? Why are they the only females that should have a voice as they follow the standard life script of reproducing? What about those of us who chose not to be parents, what about those of us who are done raising kids, and don't want to give up the lives that have been (re)gained just so mommies can have more entitlements?

Having kids is a choice, and a significant responsibility, both emotionally and financially. Those who make this choice have no call to demand that those of us who haven't should surrender the fruits of our judgement to "help" them get a bigger piece of the pie. When will these mommies realize that no, you can't have it all - it's a myth - being a parent means less discretionary income, less free time, and slower advancement at work because of needing to divide focus.

When these Motherhood Manifesto idiots realize that feminism is about equality between the genders, including the equal responsibility in raising kids, not about special rights "for mothers only".

See momsrising.org - see what they "demand":
1) Maternity/Paternity leave (have kid, get extra paid time off, screw everyone else)
2) Open flexible work (let the parents skive out early for those ball games, while the rest of us stay and work)
3) TV and after school programs (because "somebody" must entertain the kids when parents don't want to)
4) Healthcare for All Kids (but when they turn 18, tough luck. adults don't count except if they're active parents)
5) Excellent childcare (because unstructured, latchkey kids turn out too damned independent)
6) Realistic and fair wages (parents need more money, because kids are expensive, so pay them better in spite of increased absences)

Ugh. Let's take this one at a time:

M: Maternity/Paternity Leave: Paid family leave for parents after a new child comes into the family.

What about people who have their own illnesses, or a spouse, or domestic partner, or and aging parent, or a disabled sibling?? Do only kids count in their world? This is wrong, and favors parents over others who have similar needs.

O: Open, Flexible Work: Work that allows for both work and family needs. Give parents the ability to structure their work hours and careers in a way that allows them to meet both business and family needs.

Uh, huh. The rest of us can't possibly have non-work needs that count. Only parents need the ability to balance work and family, the rest of us are just here to take up the slack, our lives on hold until we have the sacred children. Never mind we might need to take parents, spouses, partners to the doctor or even pets to the vet. It all must be sacrificed for the children.

T: TV We Choose & Other After-School Programs: Clear and independent universal television rating system that allows for choice in the home. Safe, educational opportunities for children after the school doors close.

Because parents these days can't be bothered to monitor or teach their own get, we have to rate it for them. The children must have "programs" for every single waking moment, lest they be forced to use their creativity and come up with their own entertainment. We must make everything safe and sanitized for the most innocent of children, lest they become corrupted by reality.

H: Healthcare for All Kids: Healthcare for all kids. Provide quality, universal healthcare to all children--and ultimately to all citizens.

Take care of the kids first, and the rest of us as an afterthought. In reality, the most time I've spent uninsured has been as an adult, not as kid. If the kid isn't insured, the parent isn't either, and a medical catastrophe to the parent actually screws them both. Yet another backward priority.

E: Excellent Childcare: Childcare for all kids. Provide quality, affordable childcare to all parents who need it.

Out of whose pocket?? Why, those who don't have kids of course, or have already raised their kids without huge handouts from the government. What happened to the vaunted "extended family"? Are they only good for their tax paying ability? Also, what about government funded elder care, and disability care? Don't adults count, or is it just another boon to those who have *chosen* to reproduce? Why do only parents deserve help?

R: Realistic & Fair Wages: Living wages for mothers and equal pay for equal work.

Another backwards priority. "Living wages" for mothers (only?), but equal pay for equal work? Hey, how about living wages for everyone, and equal pay for equal work? Now, most mothers with their dual responsibilities will still get paid less, because they do paying work less, but that's only fair. Raising children involves sacrifice *by the parents* who chose to have them, not by every Tom, Dick and Harriet that has the misfortune to work with them.

If I work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, plus come in on weekends and on-call hours, and "mommy" works only 7.5 hours a day and "doesn't do" weekends, then I better get a fatter raise than she does, or I will be looking for another job. Seriously, equal pay for equal work is just that.

Yeah, I get ticked if some guy is doing the same thing I do, and has the same experience level, but gets more money, but that isn't because I'm a mommy, it's because I'm a woman, and there is a difference.

So there we have it, the entire backwards, kid-centered steaming pile of BS. These idiots want me to support this shit, because I know and have a "mother".

Sorry, you just leave too much out, too many out, and demand that everyone else dance to the mommy tune.

[identity profile] dreamingcrow.livejournal.com 2006-10-16 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I just knew that I shouldn't have clicked on that link.

Can't deal with the anger or frustration of disagreeing with you and not being able to word the arguments correctly.

[identity profile] ravan.livejournal.com 2006-10-17 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Dang, I put in the cut with a description so you could skip it.

The thing is, you are one of the parents who I respect.

It's not that I oppose stuff for parents and kids, but I oppose stuff *only* or even *primarily* for parents and kids.

[identity profile] dreamingcrow.livejournal.com 2006-10-17 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
That's my fault, not yours. I was distracted by something else and clicked without reading the description.

I believe that everyone should have healthcare and ability to take care of their needs, etc., but I have a different understanding and belief in the social contract than you do. I often feel that you aren't willing to look past your pocketbook to the future, often because of your generalized dislike of children and the hassle you get about being childfree. I've been dead broke with no look out for better, both with and without children, and I've still always held the views that I do.

Anyways, I'm going to go shut up and crawl in my hole now, as I'm really not in any condition for a debate, let alone an internet one where we both already know where the other person stands and we'll only bash heads together.

[identity profile] ravan.livejournal.com 2006-10-17 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
Part of the social contract is to look after older people too, and that is totally absent is this Motherhood Manifesto BS.

People chose to have kids, they don't chose to become disabled, unemployed due to outsourcing, or on the hook for eldercare. Take care of the involuntary stuff first. As long as I have disabled friends who are unchilded and unable to get medical care or subsidized housing because they don't have kids, I'm not going to put the kids first.

I've been dirt broke, and without kids. There is no safety net out there unless you have kids. I'm not going to work toward *more* benefits for having kids, and I'm not willing to pay more than my fair share for someone to chose to reproduce.

I already pay more in taxes than parents, get less paid leave, and then get hit up "for the children" every time I turn sround.