This is why I will never have that surgery (from another blog about something else, names removed):
Three years earlier D had gastric-bypass surgery after which she lost an extraordinary amount of weight. By 2008 she needed a skin-reduction operation. In August D went back into the hospital for that surgery. Within a few days of the operation she became terribly ill. Her intestines had unexpectedly twisted causing her to become septic. Eight days later she was gone.
This woman's daughter had been bullied about her mother's weight. Not her own, her mother's weight. After she committed suicide over this and other bullying, her mother, D, got the bypass surgery. Three years later she was dead from complications. So now there were two casualties from the fat-shaming.

Gastric bypass is major, life threatening surgery. It can kill you just as dead as committing suicide from bullying. It's elective, no matter how much your doctor bullies you into it. No matter how much supposedly well meaning friends and family try to bully you into it.

What bypass pushers are saying is they would rather see you dead than "fat".

Fuck that.

Yes, it's your choice, but the fact is that it can kill you earlier than any supposed "complications of obesity". Sure, people get lucky, for a while, then 3 or more years later can die anyway. It also causes severe malnutrition and calcium leaching.

Ask yourself this: Is living up to society's expectation for a trim appearance worth dying for, worth leaving your family desolate and grieving? Is being fashionable worth your life?

Then make your choice.

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P.S.: I know some of my friends who read this have had the surgery. Since it's your body, it's your choice. However, I can't agree with you on it. I'll support you in doing what you wish, but a part of me cries at the risk and the waste. I don't want to attend your funeral because of fashion.
In another post on someone else's journal, [personal profile] mac posted this link: The Revolution Starts at Home: Confronting Intimate Violence Within Activist Communities. It mentions a book that I currently can't afford to order, but also has a link to an excellent PDF of the zine version.

It is an intense read, but very valuable, IMO. So far I'm only a third of the way through it. One takeaway I have is something I knew at a gut level, but didn't really follow all the way through: Just because a person is an activist doesn't mean they automatically are not capable of being an abuser.

I know, peripherally, of incidents in various subcultures/communities I'm involved in that are not pretty. What I hadn't really internalized is how much it happens, but is ignored *within the community*. Sure, the outside will take a hint and make it a federal case, but ignoring it within isn't the solution either.

BTW, for those who wonder why I am bothering with any of this, since it's not my fight? Because I can. Because if someone hates me because of what I say on the net, it wouldn't be the first time. Because I have this obnoxious tendency to ask "Oh, really?" and be a bit sparing with my trust and credence. Not everyone whose journal I follow do I like or trust, either.

I'm sorry if I don't conform to your idea of what a pagan/feminist/queer/gimp/fan should be like. I'm not trying to please you or conform, and pushing me to do so just gets my back up and me being contrary. Call it crazy if you like.

But if I can inspire someone to think past their knee-jerk, then it's worth it.

That's why I've chosen to highlight this link/document - because it has made *me* think.
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